4.00 A.M.

See the title? Yes, last night I finally slept at that hour after had a really killing conversation with someone. She left me, again. And I couldn't done anything about it. She already made up her mind and she wasn't care about everything I said. Yes, that night I realize that I cannot trust anyone. I also realize that hope, even a single glimpse of it, can kills. I love her, no doubt about that. But it seemed that she wasn't believe it. I love her, more than just a brother to his sister, I love her more than that, but she insisted to broke up and became just a brother and sister. I hate this thing. I was hurt, and I try to hurt myself physically, but it can't show how much I hurt, it's became too severe. Yes, and I made a mistake under my temporary insanity and confuseness. I blame her for everything that happened. I wanted to die, and I blame the reason to her, because she decided to left me and broke up. In the end, still under my temporary insanity, I tell her that I wanted to go away, just like she wanted a week ago. I mean it. I do really want to go away, because she seems can't understand the way i feel. Okay, be an adult. I know when I have to stop chasing after her, and maybe it's now. When she tells that she want to go away, then so be it. Yes, she is not need me anymore. I guess, it's time to say goodbye, forget me. Perhaps it's come to my turn to say it, she has said that before, and she took back her words. But this time, I guess, there is no turning back anymore. Yup, she's done with me. Thank you for the love you gave to me. Thank you for every memories that we had together in a very short time. Thank you, for make me can be my self, it's been a long time since the last time I do. Thank you, for everything. Forgive me, for every bad thing I've done to you, for cannot be like you want me to, for being such a jerk, for every bad words that I have said. Good bye, my dear... I'll love you, always......








(for my dearest J.K., I'm still love you, even I cannot show it)